There was a lady named, Sandra who lost her husband in a car accident that also caused her to have a life-changing brain injury, according to The Daily Mail. During the trial for the accident, in her court statement Sandra stated that she sympathized with the woman who crashed into them—who herself lost a child in the accident—and gave her a hug. “I know she is going through as much pain as I am feeling. I wanted her to know that I forgive her for what she did,” Sandra told WSB-TV.
If you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, your Father in heaven will forgive you. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. -Matthew 6:14-15
Jesus was saying that we cannot expect God to forgive our wrong, when we are not ready to forgive those who committed wrong against us. It will be unfair or selfish to require something we are not willing to give.
One time, there was a man who came to John Wesley and said: “I could never forgive that person.” Wesley said, “Then I hope you never sin. When you are unforgiving, you’re burning the very bridge you need to walk across.” By not forgiving, you are limiting God’s power the opportunity to rehabilitate the other person to be reformed.
- Because it is your gift to yourself. It does not mean what they have done to you was right or does not excuse their behaviour, but by forgiving you are saying that: “enough is enough, I will never allow their behaviour from destroying me.” To forgive does not mean the wrong committed against you was not painful. It does hurt. But you deserve peace. Give that gift to yourself. Forgive.
- No obligation to trust again instantly. – Warren Buffet once said: “Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.” Jesus said that we must be ready to forgive over and over again (Matthew 18:21-22). We must forgive as God expects us to do it, but may take time to restore that lost trust and the other person must accept that it may not be easy for you to trust him again. If you do, you tend to be used, abused or being taken advantage of.
- Restoration of relationship without any changes. When you forgive, it does not mean that you are required to be reunited as if nothing has happened. You must understand that forgiveness is an act you do when you get hurt. In restoration of relationship, the offender must be willing to sincerely apologise, to repay where required, and gradually start to rebuild the trust. Forgive those who have hurt you because it is time to do so. If getting back together is no longer an option, let go and move on. But if it is something which is still possible, I tell you, both of you “shall live happily ever after” because your relationship has been through the “roller-coaster” the “ups and downs”. You will feel better and stronger.
Do not dwell on being unforgiving because it is not the other person who gets hurt but it is you. Refusing to forgive someone is like drinking a poison, waiting for the offender to die. Holding grudge means that it illegally occupies your heart and your head. It bothers you and sucks your energy. It is time to get rid of that poison so it does not infect you. Ephesians 2:7 says: “…and do not give the devil a foothold.” On
“If you let go a little you will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace.”~ Ajahn Chah.
When you forgive, you will find peace.
In Romans 12:19 Dear friends, don’t try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says, “I am the one to take revenge and pay them back.” Kung nasaktan man tayo ng napakasakit, or people talk behind our backs, hindi ba nakikita ng Diyos at alam Niya ang nangyayari. But in Matthew 6:44 it was said to love our enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for them. Why God did not say for us to treat others the way they treat us? The notion of: “I am kind to those who are kind.” But God commanded: “love your enemy.” “Treat others the way you want them to treat you.” Bless and pray those who hate you. God is more interested in changing you.
Indeed, Jesus is our model. In Luke 23:33-34, “Jesus said, “Father, forgive these people! They don’t know what they’re doing.” People who offend do not know the truth. They normally act to what they partially know. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but a testament of strength and self-love. Forgiveness is a key to a true happiness. If you believe you deserve to be happy, choose to forgive. Hayaan mong mabunot ang tinik sa puso mo. God heals your wound. Let the healing begins.