Treat your partner (or spouse) better than your friends. Your partner must feel valued, loved and respected. Pag ginawa mo yan, tatagal at hahaba ang pagsasama ninyo, at hindi kayo palagi mag-aaway. Madalas kase mas nahihiya tayo sa iba pero bastos tayo sa mga partner (or asawa) natin. Mali iyon.

Ginagawa mo ba ito:

• hinihiya mo sila sa harap ng maraming tao?
• pinaparamdam mo na wala silang kwenta?
• pinapaalala palagi ang mga failures nila noon?

We must treat our partners better than anybody else because we know them very well more than anybody else. Mas kilala natin sila, alam natin ang strengths at galing nila, kaya dapat mas may loyalty tayo sa kanila. We should treat our partners better than our friends dahil sila din ang ating lovers and basically should be our best friend too.

Kung hindi mo feel na itrato ang partner na pinaka mahalaga sa buhay mo, sino pa? Ano ba ang purpose nila sa iyo?

When you treat your partner as your best friend, it means, you respect them because there are times that you may not agree with them but respect them anyway. You do not have to agree all the time in everything, but when there is respect, there will not be much argument, criticisms and back-stabbing. Mas mababawasan ang gusot at away sa bahay dahil nandoon ang respeto at pagkilala sa bawat isa. Hindi naman ito parang korte na pagalingan na lang sa debate where the intention is just to win the argument but forget that the bottom line is to make things better.

The Bible is clear:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

#1 Everything you do will leave a mark.

Ecclesiastes 10:12
The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but the lips of a fool consume him.

Minsan ang akala nating mga walang saysay na salita na ating binigkas ay walang bisa, ngunit yon pala ay nakapagbigay ng lakas at sigla sa iba o di kaya naman ay sumira sa buhay or pananaw ng iba.

Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Kaya nga sa ating pagsasalita ay dapat laging masarap ang lasa at matamis na alalahanin.

Lahat ng gagawin mo dito sa lupa ay magiging alaala mo pag nawala ka na.

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. From now on the crown of righteousness is laid up for me… -2 Timothy 4:7

Maganda na sa ating buhay ay maalala natin na tayo ay lumaban sa buhay, tinapos ang karera at nanatiling nananalig at naniniwala sa Diyos.

Are you bitter or a winner?

Are you a quitter or a champion?

Ano ba ang gusto mong maalala ka?

I want to be remembered as a fighter who did not quit but kept my dreams alive. I may not always succeed and get all that I wanted for, but I know that I am leaving this world with my mark, with my signature, I will be signing off but will be remembered as a fighter, who never quit until I win.

 

#2 You can always correct the mistakes you make

Mistakes are forgiveable, if one has the courage to admit them. – Bruce Lee

I would agree that for us to correct our mistakes, we must admit (no matter how painful it would be) that we have made them. No one has ever done 100% perfect all the time, we are all susceptible to commit errors.

But let’s not just ‘accept’ it, one must also ‘learn’ from those mistakes and grow. You cannot just say, I admit I made those mistakes but it would be non-sense without learning from it and consequently grow from it.

Taking responsibility is one of the hardest things to do. Marami ang ayaw tanggapin ang pagkakamali: either they will deny it or will find someone to blame.

In the Bible, natukso si Eva, pero sa halip na humingi ng tawad at magpakababa, ay humanap ng damay at sinisi si Adan. Ganoon din naman si Adan, sinisi ang ahas.

Like a Pencil, we must be strong to correct our mistakes. After all, we know that we have made them in the first place. We can always make an alibi or excuse that what we did is ok, but deep inside we know that things could have been better done.

In my profession as a new lawyer, I normally go to the Court of Law and will sometimes make mistakes, I will be quick to say: “Judge, I have made this or that error, and I am taking responsibility on that…please allow my client to be heard and not punished for the wrongdoing I have made as his lawyer…”

A good and sensible judge usually forgives me and allows me to do whatever I have requested, simply because I admit, I took responsibility and I am willing to learn and grow.

Madalas ang mga taong ayaw magbago, yan yong talunan sa buhay.

Maganda din sa tao yong marunong humingi ng pasensya at paumanhin.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9

The Bible is clear to ‘confess’ our sins or mistakes. Confession is synonymous with an admission of guilt. At maitatama mo lang ang mali kung tinatanggap mo na mali at willing kang maitama ang pagkakamali.

Life is too short to make so many mistakes. Grow up to admit it, correct it and learn from it.

#3 What is important is what is inside of you.

People see you as who you are, will label as you were before but God sees you that Jesus Christ is in you.

When Christ is in you, slowly there will be a transformation (of course, it will not always be as fast as you may think because it is according to God’s timing).

and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. – Galatians 2:20

People may think you are a disgrace, but you were saved because of God’s grace. Dahil sa biyaya ng Diyos, tayo ay pinalaya at pinatawad.

When Christ lives in you, you have that inner strength to fight because you’re not alone. Kakampi mo ang langit at kasama mo ang Diyos.

Then Moses replied, “If you aren’t going with us, please don’t make us leave this place.  – Exodus 33:15

From the beginning of time, Moses understood that principle that when God comes with us, we have the confidence to win.

Children, you belong to God, and you have defeated these enemies. God’s Spirit is in you and is more powerful than the one who is in the world. – 1 John 4:4

Romans 8:31 “…If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Tama yung awit: “Dumaan man tayo sa apoy di ako masusunog…Dumaan man ako sa bangin, di ako mahuhulog…Dumaan man ako sa tubig di ako malulunod…”

This is only possible when we appreciate the power within us.

 

#4 In life you will undergo painful sharpenings which will make you better.

Those I love, I rebuke and discipline. Therefore be earnest and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him, and he with Me.  – Revelations 3:20

 

Marami ang ayaw mapagsabihan or mapalo, but it is God who says that He rebukes and disciplines those He loves.

So know in your heart that just as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. Deuteronomy 8:5

We get better and stronger after every big blow. Just like the bamboo, we dance in the rain, we bow because of the strong winds, but a bamboo will always bounce back.

Tama si Lord, kase kung wala tayong kwenta sa Kanya, bakit nya pa tayo itutuwid? Because He loves us so much not to be wrong and suffer the consequences of being wrong, it is His joy to see us succeed and win by telling we are heading for a disaster and unless we rectify the errors we are doing now, we will remain wrong.

Repent and perform the deeds you did at first. But if you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. – Revelations 2:5

God is a God of second chances. He said, “if” you do not repent…you will suffer the penalty…

Sharpening, or pruning, is necessary to become better looking into the eyes of Gardener. Kesa constructive or destructive criticism, but let us take other’s correction as a gift, especially if the person telling us is someone we respect and trust that they are doing it for our benefit.

#5 To be the best pencil, you must allow yourself to be guided by the hand that holds you.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. – John 15:5

We can only be the best that we can be if we have God on our side and we are led by the Holy Spirit.

We must allow God to be in the driver seat of our lives. We must allow Him to drive the car not us.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie downin greenpastures;He leadsme besidequietwaters.He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for the sake of His name…Psalms 23:2

God knows what’s best for us. We can ever be useful if we will allow God to use for His purpose.

Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. – Isaiah 64:8

Tayo ay mga palayok lamang at Diyos ang manlililok. Let us God use us mightily for whatever purpose He wants us to be. Be sure to grow wherever God puts you in.

Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.” – John 13:7

Let us allow God to hold us because He is the Almighty, Absolute, and All-Power God. He sees the bigger picture, we don’t. We may not all understand what He is doing, but maybe someday we will see that “all things worked together for good.”

 

 

 

 

One of the most difficult things to do is to change a person to become the person we wanted them to be. Madalas ito ay nauuwi sa away, sigalot at gulo. In the first place, we have to ask ourselves that we fell in love with the person because of who they are. Noong hindi pa kayo, nabubuhay na siya mag-isa ng wala ka, bakit ngayon na naging kayo na, kelangan mong baguhin sya?

Hindi dahil hindi kayo pareho ng opinyon ay mali sya at tama ka. Magkaiba lang kayo. Accept the differences and don’t assume that others are wrong simply because they do not agree with you.

When we accept and acknowledge that not all are the same, and realise that differences exist, mas magkakaroon ka ng kaluwagan sa paghinga. Hindi stressful at walang masyadong disagreements sa buhay dahil tanggap mo sa sarili mo na iba talaga sya.

Ang isang relasyon ay parang isang team – composed of different people with different characters and qualities. Sa basketball, kelangan may point guard, may sa rebound at defense. Hindi pwedeng lahat taga dala ng bola kelangan din mag gwardya at may point-shooter. Ganyan din ang isang samahan or even politics. Hindi pwedeng lahat ay sang-ayon sa administrasyon otherwise, the power could be abused by those incumbent because no one stands for the opposition party.

In our relationships, we must accept that differences exist. Like a team with different qualities, we must work together and put aside differences but with one mind and one goal to succeed. When we combine our talents in common, mas marami tayo na-achieve. Iwasan na natin ang bangayan at siraan, dahil hindi ito nagdudulot ng maganda. Better is we accept that there are difference and complexities, but our goal is to achieve the best thing more that we can achieve by ourselves. Totoo ang kasabihan, “walang sinuman ang nabubuhay para sa sarili lamang.” No man is an island. We all need someone’s strengths and inputs to validate if what we have in mind, is better or could be improved.

Minsan kapag naging conceited tayo na parang tayo lang ang mag exclusivity and monopoly ng mga ideas, we may fail to recognize the blind-spot, the weak points.

Folly is joy to one who lacks judgment, but a man of understanding walks a straight path. Plansfailfor lackof counsel,but with manyadvisersthey succeed. – Proverbs 15:22

Yung iba ayaw ng may kontra sa kanila. Pero panget ang pelikula na walang kontra-bida. Mas lalong gumaganda ang climax ng isang sine at lalong gumagaling ang leading actors/actresses dahil sa mga supporting roles -kontra bida.

Ganyan din sa buhay, may mga tao na iba ang pananaw kesa sa iyo. Pero hindi ibig sabihin ay mali sila at tama ka kaagad. Tanggapin mo na hindi lang kayo magka pareho. Smile and agree to disagree.

Most OFWs I know failed to make it in retirement because they lack financial independence. Wala silang naipon dahil yung mga kinita nila sa loob ng maraming taon ay naubos ng pamilya. Ok naman sana kung talaga kelangan dahil sa sakit or pagpapagamot or pagpapaaral ng mga anak. Pero kung ito napunta lang sa kapritsu, eto ang talakayin natin.

This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:39

Many OFWs forget themselves because of love to others. Nakalimot na sa kanilang obligasyon sa kanilang sarili. Kaya most of the time, when an OFW retires (will then be called an ex-ofw), nagkakaroon ng bitterness dahil si OFW hindi nakaipon at ang kanilang pamilya wala din naipon. Lahat sila mga purdoy at nakanganga na ngayon sa kawalan.

This is a sad turn of event – dating malakas ang kita, pero hindi namalayan ni OFW na tumanda na siya at lipas na sa panahon, kelangan na nilang mamahinga at mag retire. Hindi naman kase habang buhay nasa abroad eh. One piece of advise: an OFW while looking the welfare of others, must NOT forget herself too.

No one is responsible for yourself, except yourself alone.

Ang magandang gawin ay huwag ipadala lahat ang kinikita sa Pinas. Kelangan mag “subi” para sa kinabukasan at sa retirement. Alam nyo yung larong “sungka” noong araw. Sa larong ito ay natuturuan tayong mag subi sa bahay. Hindi ubos-ubos biyaya bukas nakatunganga.

the ants are not a strong species, yet they store up their food in the summer;

Ang buhay OFW habang nasa abroad ay tinataguriang “summer” dahil malakas kumita. But after the summer is rainy season, where all work must stop ‘metaphorically speaking’. Yong kanta na: “tatanda at lilipas din ako…” sa pagtanda ni OFW, lipas na sa panahon, may naipundar ba? May naipon ba o wala? Hindi mo ngayon pwedeng iasa sa mga anak mo ang pagtanda mo sa buhay. Mabuti sana kung ok sa pamilya mo na alagaan ka, paano kung hindi? Iba na ang takbo ng panahon. Habang OFW ka ngayon, may panahon pa para mag-pundar, mag-invest, mag-ipon para sa sarili.

 

I represented a client at the Upper Tribunal in London, UK  where a same-sex couple was previously represented by a solicitor then by a barrister but lost against the draconian laws imposed by the UK Immigration Home Office.

What makes it difficult is the fact that my client is scared to return home because of the societal prejudice she will suffer in the Philippines. Same-sex marriage is not allowed under the Philippine law. But the UK Visas and Immigration (UKVI) responded that being a homosexual in the Philippines is not a crime and not unlawful and therefore my client can go back home with the partner who is a British citizen. And also, my client is a homosexual before anyway so there is no need to be afraid now.

The representation of the previous solicitor and another barrister failed for some reason that a Judge of the Court did not believe that client will suffer severe discrimination in the Philippines.

The client came to my law office and asked if I could take over the case and the appeal matter.

At the Court, I spoke to the Senior Home Office Presenting Officer and said that my client has no chance of winning because there are other grounds that he seems will persuade the Upper Tribunal Judge in favor of the UKVI.

Respectfully, I said that I was instructed to advance our line of argument that there are too much hate crimes against LGBT (lesbian, gays, bi, trans) in the Philippines. I showed him all articles by the US and Human Rights charities and advocates how humiliating to be an LGBT in the Philippines.

The Upper Tribunal Judge asked me: “Mr. Magsino what is your response to the Home Office allegation that your client can return to the Philippines and apply again to return to the UK…”

I responded: “Ma’am under the recent Supreme Court case of Agyarko which says at paragraph 48:

” If the applicant or his or her partner would face very significant difficulties in continuing their family life together outside the UK, which could not be overcome or would entail very serious hardship, then the “insurmountable obstacles” test will be met, and leave will be granted under the Rules.

At [51] it stated:

“If, on the other hand, an applicant – even if residing in the UK unlawfully – was otherwise certain to be granted leave to enter, at least if an application were made from outside the UK, then there might be no public interest in his or her removal. The point is illustrated by the decision in Chikwamba v Secretary of State for the Home Department.”

Madam Judge, the Agyarko principle revisited the case of Chikwamba where the House of Lords held that there is no need for someone to return to his home country to apply for a visa if it can potentially succeed in the UK.

In theory, Madam Judge, since my client can potentially meet the immigration law in the UK, under the Agyarko and Chikwamba, there is no need for my client to return to the Philippines. She cannot live openly without being hated and disliked by the people around, the community and by the society as a whole. This is against the decision held by the UK Supreme Court in the case HJ Iran and HT Cameroon where homosexuals are members of a particular social group being defined by the immutable characteristic of their sexuality. ”

After two weeks, the Judge agreed in my representation, allowed my appeal and my client was granted 10 years leave to remain in the UK.